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Joke of the Day

"I'm not a fan of Trump, but I'd never denigrate his supporters If you're a Trump supporter, denigrate means to put down."

"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!"

"As a fat guy I never really have more pep in my step... But I do occasionally get a little more throttle in my waddle."

"Safety first. Just kidding, coffee first. Safety's like third or fourth."

"You'd think old people would drive faster with the whole death thing creeping up on them and all."

"I hired a personal trainer and my first 2 hour-long sessions were just him teaching me how to properly cut the sleeves off my t-shirts"

"Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide"

"What do you call a Mexican after he gets electrocuted? Re-fried beans!"

"Growing up, mum was always like a beautiful bird. She would fly away and when she returned many hours later she would puke everywhere."

"What do you call a bird of prey with high intelligence? A falcon genius."