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Joke of the Day

"Everyone prepare yourself for National ""How is it May already?"" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet."

"A plateau is the highest form of flattery I'm sorry"

"Why couldn't the Mayans just make a calendar full of naked women like everybody else?"

"Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion."

"Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it."

"Did you hear about the guy ducking charges of sheep rape? He's on the lam."

"Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand."

"What's the difference between a church and a mosque? In a church you see pew, pew pew. In a mosque you hear pew pew pew."

"Fatboy Slim announced that he's releasing a monthly cookie delivery service It's called 'Snack My Bitch Up.'"

"So quick to claim someone on your taxes yet so slow to make them a snack."