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Joke of the Day

"Me: how long are you gonna sit there picking your nose? I tried to be polite but this is absurd Potato Head: I want to look good on my date"

"Where do you eat toaster waffles on the beach? San Diego!!"

"What does Captain Falcon drink in Hawaii? PUNCH!"

"Him: drink? Me: I have a boyfriend Him: I have a goldfish Me: What??? Him: I thought we were talking about shit that don't matter"

"One quality im not looking for in a potential partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm"

"What do you call herpes on a scarecrow? A corn on the cob"

"Mozart got sick and tired and decided to slaughter all his chickens. They wouldn't stop going Bach bach bach."

"Are you cold? (Yes) Then go sit in a corner, cause it's 90 degrees."

"4-year-old: It's not fair. Boys can have beards but girls can't. Me: Well, girls can have babies and boys can't. 4: Want to trade?"

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!"