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Joke of the Day

"Him: drink? Me: I have a boyfriend Him: I have a goldfish Me: What??? Him: I thought we were talking about shit that don't matter"

"Why don't Muslims fill out online forms? Because they refuse to Submit to anyone but Allah."

"In an effort to improve customer service, Best Buy will now punch each customer in the face as they walk through the door."

"A blue man lives in a blue house, a red man lives in a red house, who lives in the white house? Donald Trump."

"Did you just call me a boombox? Eugh that's such a stereotype"

"Friend: ""I just blew a speaker in my car."" Me: ""Which kind?"" Friend: ""Motivational."""

"why did the snowman smile? He saw the snowblower coming"

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? YOUR MOMMA!"

"school is like a boner School is like a boner its long and hard, unless your Asian"

"I think deja vu is bullshit and this isn't the first time I've thought that."