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Joke of the Day

"There are a lot of female hormones in beer. When I drink five bottles I also can't drive a car and start behaving illogically."

"TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask Whoops, wrong sub"

"What did the gay guy say to Pinocchio? Lie to me motherfucker."

"The plan was to keep eating these alcoholic chocolates until I was either drunk or diabetic. I didn't bargain on ""bankrupt"" being an option."

"""would u like some dessert?"" i ask the moose head above the fireplace ""no thanks im stuffed"" i reply, in a slightly deeper voice"

"I met the inventor of the crossword last week. Can't remember his name. P something T something R."

"How many women with PMS does it take to change a... just SHUT UP, OKAY! SHUT UP, (sobbing) SHUT UP, SHUT UP!"

"What happens to a politician when he takes a Viagra? He gets taller."

"I tried to take a picture of some fog... I mist. ^I'll^see^myself^out^BYE!"

"What do you call someone who pretends to work in a victorias secret? A panty-mime"