229151

Joke of the Day

"How many ska kids does it take to change a light bulb? Three; one to drop the bulb and two to yell ""pick it up pick it up!"""

"I had a headache so I took a pill that gave me chest pains, dry mouth, restless leg syndrome & explosive diarrhea. But hey, headache's gone."

"I think my boss from flint is trying to poison me... Handing out all these Pb and jelly sandwiches."

"a C, Eb, and a G walk into a bar... The bartender says ""sorry we don't serve minors here,"" so the Eb walks out and the C and the G have a fifth between them."

"They probably could have called lightbulbs, just ""bulbs"". Most people would still get it."

"Theravada Monks purge all their earthly possessions to express their faith and pursue spiritual stillness of mind. I did it because fleas."

"""Dad, we need to talk."" ""Alright."" He grabs a chair and sits. ""Dad, you-"" He grabs yet another chair. ""DAMMIT DAD YOU'RE ADDICTED TO CHAIRS"""

"What's your name? SIENNA Where you from, Sienna? MALIBU Do you like sports? GOLF You're just replying w car brands aren't you? FORD F-SERIES"

"You should go to all your friend's funerals... ...otherwise they won't come to yours. EDIT: NOT MINE, a friend told me this one, he also heard it on the radio but doesn't know which context."

"How are procrastination and masturbation alike? At first it's all fun, but in the end you realize you're just screwing yourself."