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Joke of the Day

"I think my boss from flint is trying to poison me... Handing out all these Pb and jelly sandwiches."

"Back in my day bathrooms were used for taking a sh*t, not as a photo-booth!"

"Me: Is there alcohol in this? Barista: ... No ma'am. Me: Can there be?"

"Fertility clinic What did the perverted embryonic scientist say to the microscope? ""Are those my genes because I can definitely see myself in them."""

"I heard Reddit opened its own restaurant... The food is great, but the servers are always down."

"Venison... is dear."

"Mind: Does a flying dream sound good tonight? Me: Yea! Mind: Horrific shadow demon it is. Me: But I thought-? Mind: Don't worry, it can fly."

"Who was King Author's most well rounded Knight? Sir Cumference."

"I'm never more irritated by fashion than when I'm trying to stuff something in a fake pocket!"

"In which month is the NYC fashion week? Fabruary, of course."