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Joke of the Day

"You should go to all your friend's funerals... ...otherwise they won't come to yours. EDIT: NOT MINE, a friend told me this one, he also heard it on the radio but doesn't know which context."

"Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because the didn't have the guts to do it."

"What do you call a group of euphorics? A fedoration."

"M.C. Escher was born on this day in 1898. Although if you study the timeline of his life, it also looks like he was born in 8681."

"How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot? With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one."

"""500 Days of Summer"" was pretty good for a movie I was expecting to be about global warming."

"If people smoke cigarettes, what do fish smoke? Seaweed"

"Today has been approved by both my middle fingers."

"Million Dollar hipster food idea: Insta.ham"

"A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it as long as you want but it won't go anywhere."