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Joke of the Day

"When I worked at the shoe store... I was the sole employee."

"Some chick got her nipple pierced at the bar last night. I'm not very good at darts."

"Sometimes I'll just eat a plain piece of bread for dinner, to you it might seem like a snack... but to me it's a wholemeal."

"Marriage Tip: Try not to leave a footprint on your spouse's ass as they get out of the car when you drop them at the airport."

"My Halloween costume this year: I'm gonna get drunk and make a space suit out of Bud Light boxes. When people ask who I'm supposed to be, I'll respond, ""I'm Buzzed Lightbeer!"""

"Just wrote ""except for you, spiders >:("" on my Welcome mat so that should be the end of that"

"""We're not so different, you and I,"" Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper."

"If a family's last name is Smear, do the kids call their grandpa Pap Smear?"

"What is God's favorite guitar chord? Gsus"

"What do Nazi marijuana farmers say to their employees? BALE HYDRO!!"