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Joke of the Day

"a C, Eb, and a G walk into a bar... The bartender says ""sorry we don't serve minors here,"" so the Eb walks out and the C and the G have a fifth between them."

"How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb? One to change the bulb and one to provide suppressing fire."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and one is a little lighter."

"If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked me for money... I'd still say no."

"My wife woke me up all excited this morning... She said honey look at all the pounds I've lost. I told her that she was looking at our retirement account not her fitbit."

"What did a black twin called his brother before they're born? Inmates"

"If the Mexicans are taking all of the jobs, then why do Koreans still rule the nail salons? Because Tu is better than Juan."

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by you again?"

"Why are photos in Latvia always such good quality? There's no such thing as potato quality there."

"When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there's really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge."