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Joke of the Day

"Never run with scissors. Unless... You stole them You're running a 400 meter scissor relay You're being chased by giant paper dolls"

"Why didn't the atheist businesswoman make any money? She didn't believe in prophets."

"I wear my heart on my sleeve because if I wore it on my chest, it'd just get mustard stains on it."

"A girl told me her exact age."

"My boss told me, ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."". I'm currently sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my batman costume!"

"I'm doing it doggy style today. Lying on the couch not doing a damn thing. I will bark if you knock on the door."

"I asked my friend in North Korea how it was there. He said he cant complain..."

"What do you call a fish in orbit? Trouterspace."

"Photoshop is turning 25 years old this week. Actually, it's 35 but just looks 25."

"What s the difference between toilet paper and toast? Toast is brown on both sides."