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Joke of the Day

"I asked my friend in North Korea how it was there. He said he cant complain..."

"Unfortunate sign in discount warehouse near a retirement community: Shop till you drop!"

"So today's my wife's birthday... I went out and bought her some flowers and a vibrator. That's so if she doesn't like the flowers she can go fuck herself."

"Hillary Clinton has become so famous that they started naming footwear after her They call it the flip flop"

"Girlfriend Joke - Written by Me I was in the shower with my girlfriend the other day and I asked her, ""Have you ever been peed on in the shower?"" She said, ""NO!"" I said, ""Yes, Yes you have!"""

"As a fat guy I never really have more pep in my step... But I do occasionally get a little more throttle in my waddle."

"It's always ""Too hard. Too soft. Too short. Too thick."" I'm never inviting Goldilocks to another orgy"

"If you can't afford to get your wisdom teeth removed... Try crystal meth, it really is a miracle drug. *disclaimer: may remove more teeth than expected."

"Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant. Wife: Why Arent You Taking Me With You To Bangkok? Husband: Because Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant. ""If U Didn't Get It Go Watch Pogo"":p"

"Some people should come with subtitles."