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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fish in orbit? Trouterspace."

"Fitness tip: It's absolutely crucial to take ""rest days"" when working out so you don't get hurt. I've recently taken over 300 of them."

"A Mexican Magician... ...told his audience he'd disappear on the count of three. He began counting ""Uno, dos..."" And he disappeared without a tres."

"*walks into confessional, closes door and sits down* Me: Alright. Look alive over there, Father, I've had a pretty wild week..."

"Ugh, I hate social media. (please validate this opinion via social media)"

"What if Bane's mask was really just a cool, elaborate electronic cigarette?"

"I want to reenact a scene from 50 Shades of Gray.... Y'know the one where she gets a job right out of college."

"It's not called PowerRamble. It's called PowerPoint, so please get to one."

"One tub of crisco. One body pillow. One box of condoms. One cashier. One wink. One awkward moment."

"Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren't supposed to make you dumber."