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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods."

"Duck Dynasty guy is right-- if we baptize all those ISIS guys, Iraq will be safe because Christians never start wars for bullshit reasons."

"Who is this rorschach guy..... and why does he paint all these pictures of my parents fighting."

"Darth Vader: What is the temperature of my son's lightsaber? Lukewarm."

"Rocket Ship Did you hear about the rocket ship that didn't go up to space? It had projectile dysfunction"

"I'm keeping a greater distance behind this truck with a vanity plate that reads ""IMTEXAN"" than I do behind cars with ""Baby on board"" signs."

"The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real."

"Don't keep grudges, let everything aside and give a good hug to your enemies!!! ...when you are really sick"

"George Carlin: Dead. Leslie Nielsen: Dead. Mitch Hedberg: Dead. Greg Giraldo: Dead. Dane Cook: A-Okay. God has some explaining to do."

"Sometimes I worry that pizza isn't a real sport"