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Joke of the Day

"Rocket Ship Did you hear about the rocket ship that didn't go up to space? It had projectile dysfunction"

"My daughter does this thing where she copies EVERYTHING the dog does; Bark, beg, fetch etc. It was adorable! Until the dog humped the couch"

"Cop cars aren't very intimidating. Add a crazy plow covered in blood, an anarchy symbol and spinning saw blades and I'll stop in a heartbeat"

"A tangent applied for a credit card, but was denied. He couldn't find anyone willing to cosine."

"Now I can't wear my nude crystal dress this weekend. Thanks, Rihanna."

"I had a stomach ache... My SO asked what's wrong, I said ""I have a clog in my intestines"" she responds with ""you need to stop eating shoes"""

"Have you heard the joke about my penis? Nevermind, no one ever gets it."

"What do you call a basement full of SJW's? A whine cellar."

"What does a man with a 12 inch penis have for breakfast? this morning I had bacon and eggs."

"A woman site down next to a man in a bar and says, ""You smell good, What do you have on?"" The man says, ""I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."""