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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face."

"What kind of boats do smart people ride on? Scholar ships!"

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple a piece of bread to the ceiling"

"What do you call fapping to dubstep? Wubbing one out."

"PSA: Brazilian officials have assured that they've taken measures to lower the chances of being murder there during the Olympic games to be... Juan/Brazilian."

"At least my parents April fools joke wasn't a child. /u/ChodeologyPHD came up with this."

"I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourettes Society. It's the thought that cunts!"

"I have a spoon devoted solely to peanut butter so things aren't really looking up."

"Penises are like internet connections Having a big pipe is great, but it doesn't do you much good if you don't have any uptime."

"Not saying Lois Lane is a shitty reporter but my friend showed up without his glasses on today and I recognized him after like 20 minutes."