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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face."

"People who aren't funny get offended by jokes."

"Ever open a drawer to get something, forget what it was, close the drawer and immediately remember, only to have to open the drawer again?"

"What's grey and comes in quarts? An elephant"

"What's cooler than being cool? Being 0K."

"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me while he was dying. It seemed really important to him that I have it."

"Hawaiian terrorists be like... Aloha Akbar"

"i was just about to ramp my car off a cliff into the ocean but then i remembered someone had told me to drive safe earlier"

"Did you here about that concert where the frontman flung his crap into the crowd? The shit reeeeeeally hit the fan"

"According to chemists, alcohol IS a solution..."