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Joke of the Day

"I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourettes Society. It's the thought that cunts!"

"What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership? My newt."

"My Load Is So Big Jokes http://myloadissobig.blogspot.com/"

"WHEN I SEE ALL CAPS I READ LIKE THE PERSON IS TALKING RIGHT BY A JET ENGINE, TELLING A CIA AGENT THAT HIS PLAN WON'T WORK...IT'S TOO RISKY"

"At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode... I asked, ""Are you two an item?"""

"One day at a Stripper Club Stripper: ""The more you tip, the more I'll reveal!"" (*tips more money*) Stripper: ""Bush did 9/11!"""

"Before Google, there was memory."

"My wife's star-sign was Cancer, so I guess you could say it was ironic how she died. Mauled to death by a giant crab."

"Why did the magnet go to the psychiatrist? He was bipolar."

"Pamela Anderson turns 43 today but her tits are barely old enough to buy a drink in this city."