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Joke of the Day

"I paid $22 to connect to the internet from an airplane flying over the pacific so you guys better provide some worthwhile content"

"[last meal on death row] ""Pepper?"" *nods* ""Say when"" *winks to camera*"

"What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth? Tooth (truth) or Consequences."

"Obama: Hello Amer- *feels a tug on his suit coat* What Joe?? Biden: What color should the lion be? Yellow. Biden: I'm using green. *giggles*"

"My piggy bank was robbed the other day. I tried to ask him how he felt... ... But he was evidently shattered"

"What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick? An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it."

"Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job."

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but plastic wrap... The psychiatrist said, ""I can clearly see your nuts."""

"a group of ducks are gathered around a ouija board. the glass slowly moves, B-R-E... *the ducks tense up* ...A-D *ducks go fuckin nuts*"

"Mothers, out of the 300 guys you're friends with on Facebook, I can guarantee not even 1 of them wants to see a picture of your baby."