188623

Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but plastic wrap... The psychiatrist said, ""I can clearly see your nuts."""

"Shocking that people who've been physically assaulting each other for 3 hours would lose their tempers."

"On a microwave, typing in 90 gives you a longer cooking time than typing in 100. MIND BLOWN"

"You gotta go for personality, guys.... They'll ALL look like grandma someday,,"

"Why is it that when kids touch themselves, it's ""perfectly natural""... but when I do it, I'm a ""pedophile""?"

"I asked my 9 yr old a question 27 min ago. She's still answering it."

"Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they are used to eating nuts!"

"How can you tell if someone is from Texas? ...Oh don't worry , they'll tell you"

"Whats the hardest part of cooking a potato? Signing the legal guardian paperwork"

"Father's Day Fun: 1) Walk up to a complete stranger at lunch with his family. 2) Hug him. 3) Tell him 'Happy Father's Day dad'! 4) Run."