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Joke of the Day

"Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job."

"How much of northern Canada is livable? *Nunavut*"

"What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door? Let my peephole grow!"

"You never hear about a new ghost. ""Oh yeah, this place is haunted since Jeff died last Tuesday."""

"Why are setups to jokes so important? because seven ate nine."

"The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I'm not allowed in Subway."

"In a democracy, it's your vote that counts... ...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes."

"There's a man at the mall wearing cargo pants and a fanny pack, who I believe is in the process of becoming a suitcase."

"What do you call a missing psychic midget? A small medium at large."

"""And on the seventh day God rested""... because even omnipotent beings need rest too, ya know."