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Joke of the Day
"Remember when you could strangle people with your phone? Those were the days.."
Next Joke
"I don't need stress management, I just need less stress to manage."
"I used to own a racing snail... It never won though. To improve its performance I removed its shell but, if anything, it made it more sluggish"
"What do you call a blonde in a BMW? Optional. (My manager from Croatia told me this during a shift)"
"What do you call a pair of eyeglasses that questions its surroundings? Skepticles."
"Ice Bank Mice Elf (repeat this 10 times fast)"
"If a geologist is in deep schist, it probably isn't very gneiss"
"*Closes app. Immediately reopens the same app*"
"Do they make special shoes for gingers with no soles?"
"Kids, don't grow up... it's a trap!"