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Joke of the Day

"*Closes app. Immediately reopens the same app*"

"It doesn't make any sense for ugly girls to play hard to get. You're already playing hard to want."

"Calling someone average is mean but I think they are the mean"

"[does jerk off motion for 2 hours] and that concludes the hearing impaired translation of the presidential debate. all of them. god bless"

"Let's make fake tan orange people an official race so we can discriminate against them properly."

"Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent? Because they contain a lot of fowl language."

"You really shouldn't make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. I'm sure she's thick and tired of it."

"The Patriots offered the Seahawks a chance to win the super bowl They said ""no thanks, we'll pass."""

"I adopted a highway. Don't tell anyone I said this, but I don't love him as much as I love my biological highways."

"TIP: Always carry a motorcycle helmet with u. Then u never have to do your hair & u can blame it on safety & the law & stuff. #lifehacks"