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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the indian prime minister's method of operation? Modi's operandi."

"Don Draper and Meiosis get together for an advertisement meeting. They agree on one thing. Sex Cells."

"I attached all my watches together into a belt today. It's a complete waist of time."

"Life has taught me if you go to the store for milk and you're high, you won't buy milk. You will spend half your rent on hot pockets though."

"Hippocrates did very well for himself, considering he was named after cages for a large mammal."

"How do you count cows? with a cowculator."

"A tiger goes to the gym... ... wearing women's underwear underneath his workout clothes. When he does squats does that make him a crouching tiger with hidden drag on?"

"[magicians backstage] don't panic guys but I think we really just sawed that woman in half"

"Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field isn't hiring."

"I used to live in New Orleans till Katrina took everything I had. Sometimes I wish she'd stayed in Latvia."