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Joke of the Day

"How do you count cows? with a cowculator."

"Why was the geologist hungry? He had a large Apatite."

"How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year? Not too well considering they can't finish a race."

"They say in New York somebody gets stabbed every 15 minutes, poor bastard."

"People who make up phrases and try to pass them off as popular sayings are just throwing meat to the monkeys in the middle of a maelstrom."

"I scream, You scream, We all scream Because grandpa fell asleep at the wheel again."

"What do you call a lesbian platypus? A lickalotapus"

"Just shoveled my sidewalk My neighbors dogs didn't seem too appreciative with all their barking and yapping. Or maybe they fucking loved it and I just don't speak dog very well."

"Q: Why did the blonde make love in the microwave? A: She wanted to have a baby in 9 minutes."

"I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate."