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Joke of the Day

"I used to live in New Orleans till Katrina took everything I had. Sometimes I wish she'd stayed in Latvia."

"What's half a joke look like?"

"What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church? a retarded gorilla"

"I once applied for a job to work as a blacksmith.... The blacksmith asked me if I'd ever shooed a horse. I said ""no, but I once told a donkey to piss off."""

"Do you know how to convert a dishwasher into an automatic snowplow? Give that bitch a shovel. (I'm not really a sexist pig... But that's still one of my favorite jokes.)"

"u guys like coachella? u know who else was in a desert with people who didn't shower? Moses. hi i'm your new youth pastor Keith"

"Why did the English major break up with the pilot? Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over."

"[interrogation] ""How do u kno the deceased?"" I was his drug dealer. ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs."

"Yeah.. 2 Girls 1 Cup I used to fap to that til I realized it wasn't ice cream."

"""Yep, I'm going to jail."" When a State Trooper takes the same exit off the highway*"