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Joke of the Day

"Those people who try to tear you down are just pissed that they can't reach you where you are standing."

"California legalized marijuana I guess they had a high voter turnout."

"Why is Mexico's flag green, white, and red? Guacamole, sour cream, and salsa."

"How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany? ""InterNEIN"""

"I've got the eye of the tiger, heart of a lion, and... a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"What concert costs 45 cents? A concert that costs 45 cents."

"1) Go to Starbucks 2) Order coffee 3) Tell them your name is Waldo 4) Leave"

"Lunch menu at a middle school in Flint, MI: PB&J with some Pb&H20."

"If you think it hurts to lose a boyfriend/girlfriend, you've clearly never lost close to 500 GB's worth of data on your hard drive."

"I used to have a great job as a lifeguard, until this blue kid got me fired."