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Joke of the Day

"Why is Mexico's flag green, white, and red? Guacamole, sour cream, and salsa."

"What does a 75 year old pussy taste like? Depends."

"What would Jesus actually do? Probably ban nail guns"

"How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"My pregnant dog licked the floor after I cleaned it with ammonia... my vet said she was a basic bitch."

"ME: It would ring, and we would... Answer it. TEENS: but, like, how did you know who it WAS? ME *staring into the distance* We never did..."

"When I worked at a pickle factory, I stuck my penis inside of a pickle slicer... They ended up firing both of us."

"My aunt found a lump below her left breast recently. It was my penis."

"An ad company friended me on facebook I guess you could say they wanted to ad me."

"Why do you call an angry bear? A grrrrrrrizzly bear"