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Joke of the Day

"What concert costs 45 cents? A concert that costs 45 cents."

"I'm not homeless, but a lot of homeless things happen to me."

"*puts on headphones *cranks ""Eye of the Tiger"" *downs energy drink *laces up Nikes *runs out into 13 weather *runs back inside *Naps"

"Water fountains are great for when I want to know what your building tastes like."

"When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight ? When they had lots of sleepless knights !"

"Donald Trump used to enjoy having first wife Ivana.... sit on his knees so he could raise and lower her. Guess not the first time he bounced a Czech."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheel chair. (And yes, I know I'm going to hell)"

"What's the difference between a crackhead and a methhead? Toothless methheads give better $3.50 blowjobs"

"I care more about the outcome of sporting events than any other aspect of human existence."

"I'm the kind of guy who brings his phone charger to the party."