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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a frog that's parked illegally? Toad."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber? Apparently he had Loco motives."

"If I were a ghost, I'd spell ""antidisestablishmentarianism"" on the Ouija board just to waste those idiots' time."

"What do you call it when two high people get in an argument? A pot roast."

"Just be yourself. All the good personalities are taken."

"how come there aren't more babies named Pizza"

"A good rule of thumb is It's opposable."

"Disney couldn't handle my awesome script. Kylo Ren was Rey's father. Finn was her brother. Chewbacca was her cousin twice removed."

"I'm not mature enough to work at Siemens."

"I'd like to thank not only my mom and dad ... But my parents"