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Joke of the Day

"you know its cold out... when you go outside, and its cold out. (tried this in /r/antijokes , thought the rest of the joke world might appreciate)"

"What did the 2 oceans say to each other? Nothing. They just waved."

"RABBIT HUSBAND: You look even better after a full day of work. I don't know how you do it, honey. RABBIT WIFE: They test cosmetics on me."

"I opened a window to let a fly out... and three more flew in, along with five mosquitoes, three ladybugs, a bird, and a Jehovah's Witness."

"""I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy"" is my favorite lyric about murdering law enforcement officials in moderation."

"So after how many speeding tickets am I qualified to be an honorary race car driver?"

"What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it? A moot ant"

"What do you call the first Afghan off the boat? Amhere. What do you call the second Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwel. What do you call the third Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwell Azhim. :)"

"What do bees do if they want to use public transport ? Wait at a buzz stop !"

"I'm not saying he is out of shape, but... ... he calls the gym 'James' because he doesn't feel familiar enough for nicknames."