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Joke of the Day

"""I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy"" is my favorite lyric about murdering law enforcement officials in moderation."

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."

"i don't want to masturbate... ...but im doing this ""1000 days in a row"" thing"

"What is ""Mary"" short for? She has no legs!"

"Why'd the air resistance committed suicide? Because he's always being neglected"

"When theres a rack of lamb, there is not a lack of ram."

"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven was a six offender."

"""MEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH THE GREEKS & MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"" ""Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"" ""Oh rad bring it in"""

"What did the little cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? My toe sis!"

"It's a fun and games til I get super drunk, flip the Monopoly board and tell everyone to get the hell out of my house."