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Joke of the Day

"""I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy"" is my favorite lyric about murdering law enforcement officials in moderation."

"Trying to find an anagram for mobile piss' is impossible."

"[text from friend) Her: You doing okay? Me: Yeah I guess. Why, what have you heard?"

"What do you call a terrorist in the North Pole? An ISISicle!"

"I blame Picasso for all these women who use markers to draw on their eyebrows."

"Steve Irwin lived like he died... ...with animals in his heart."

"How many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Lets go ride a bike!"

"[Ouijja Board] What is the meaning of life? S-T-A-Y-I-N A-L-I-V-E S-T-A-Y-I-N A-L-I-V-E *Squints at board* What the heck? A Bee Gee board?"

"My grandfather suffers from dimensia... he doesn't ever seem to know at what point he exists in time or space."

"Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations"