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Joke of the Day

"I opened a window to let a fly out... and three more flew in, along with five mosquitoes, three ladybugs, a bird, and a Jehovah's Witness."

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"A man only buys water from a dancer. His son notices this and after a while he asks him, ""Why do you only buy water from that dancer?"" ""Because,"" the father said with a grin, ""I enjoy *tap* water!"""
"Those girls on the balance beam learn early on that 4 inches isn't much to work with."
"How did Geordi La Forge go blind? He turned on the UV light in the Holodeck."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Briony ! Briony who ? Briony beautiful sea !"
"What does a blind pornstar say when she's surprised? I did not see that cumming...."
"Why doesn't Santa have kids? He only comes once a year"
"I used to have a real thing for posh spice.... It cost my mum a fortune in saffron."
"Almost 65% of statistics are made up. The other half are lies."
"When is Independence Day 2 coming out? 9/11"