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Joke of the Day
"Where did I get my scarf? It's a CVS receipt. You love it? Oh thank you very much."
Next Joke
"How do you make a woman scream twice? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on her curtains."
"Constipation: Same shit, different day."
"What do you say to get the attention of a gold bar? ""AU"""
"What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died? Mourning wood."
"Me: How do Minions wear overalls? They don't even have shoulders Therapist: I meant is there anything else bothering you about your marriage"
"Drop what you're doing right now and go take a look at tonight's moon in the iPhone weather app. Gorgeous."
"What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold unto your nuts-This is no ordinary Blow Job!"
"""I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...Watch you smile while you're sleeping..."" Aerosmith = Romantic Me = Restraining Order"
"If you were to second guess your decision on booking a trip to a Native American community... That would be a reservation reservation reservation!"