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Joke of the Day

"How accurate is the bible? Very!! Especially when thrown from a short distance...hits the target almost always."

"Teacher: Can you count to 10? Fred: Yes teacher-one two three four five six seven eight nine ten. Teacher: Now go on from there. Fred: Jack Queen King."

"I had a cocaine joke, but now I can't find it It makes me really mad because I had it all lined up"

"When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I've been told. Twice now."

"MOM: Any plans tonight? ME: Me and the guys heading out to find us some ladees *shoots finger guns HER: So Pokemon Go with Gary? M: Yessss"

"When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather.... ... Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"Why does Peter Pan Fly? Because he Neverlands."

"Three feminists had a picnic... It didn't last long - none of them made sandwiches."

"I like my coffee like I like my women In two enormous cups"

"For all those men who say""Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"" I say: why buy an entire pig just to get a little sausage!"