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Joke of the Day

"For all those men who say""Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"" I say: why buy an entire pig just to get a little sausage!"

"I've had a rough morning. I woke up and tripped over my wife's bra; it was a booby trap."

"What did Eric say to his classmates on the last day of school? ""Do you believe in God?"""

"A dad walks into his daughter's room and saw her fapping with a cucumber, he said: Hey! I was going to eat that, now it's going to taste like cucumber!"

"When I was a kid I used to dream about swimming in an ocean of soda... ....but when I grew up I realised it was just a Fantasea"

"Where could you look up Joan of Arc's profile? On Tinder."

"Why do they call camels 'ships of the desert'? Because they are full of Arab semen."

"How are you doing in arithmetic ? I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble."

"My doctor says I'm not eating a balanced diet...that's absurd. I eat as many cookies with my left hand as I do with my right!"

"I got caught torrenting ""Free Fallin"", ""American Girl"", and ""Wildflowers"" They charged me with first degree Petty Theft."