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Joke of the Day

"There's an omelet in the fridge. I want it. However, I can't have it... It's eggspired."

"All I did from 1984-1990 was try to shoot the laughing dog in Duck Hunt"

"[interrogation] ""How do u kno the deceased?"" I was his drug dealer. ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs."

"Knock knock. Who's there? App App who? Welcome to the quickee mart"

"Does the employee manual say I CAN'T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you."

"if religion is the opium of the masses then i smoke weed everyday!"

"Werner Heisenberg's epitaph: Here lies Heisenberg. ^^^?"

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot."

"Why did Hitler REALLY kill himself? He got his gas bill"

"Irishman applies for a job at a Blacksmiths. The Blacksmith asks ""Have you ever shoed a horse?"" The Irish man replies, ""No, but I once told a Donkey to fuck off."""