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Joke of the Day

"[interrogation] ""How do u kno the deceased?"" I was his drug dealer. ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs."

"What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney? He gets claustrophobic!"

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None because it's already lit fam ^I'm^^so^^^sorry"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number, you probably never heard of it."

"What do you call a greedy roman god? Jewpiter."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, feminists can't change anything."

"Kanye West becomes the President And Kim Kardashian becomes the First Lady"

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming."

"Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don't know."

"OP's sex life."