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Joke of the Day

"Say what you will about Clinton being a womanizer But Bush had the Twins go down on him."

"Why do men like blowjobs? It's the only thing that they get something straight inside a woman's head."

"I accidentally swallowed some food coloring the other day. The doctor said I was fine but I feel like I've dyed a little on the inside."

"How do you tell an introvert and an extrovert mathematician apart? When talking to you, the extrovert mathematician looks at *your* shoes."

"Here's your social security card. It's paper and has to last you forever. Don't laminate it. Good luck asshole."

"Why do Americans spell colour as color? Because fuck U, that's why."

"If your dog has weird unsightly nipples, it's OK to throw 3 or 4 little bras on it."

"Does the employee manual say I CAN'T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you."

"My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can finish a race..."