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Joke of the Day

"Why did the kid dump a bucket of water off the school roof? He wanted to make a big splash in front of his class."

"I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... ...and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust."

"hello 911, yeah me again. so listen 29 of my recent tweets have been stolen and.. hello? hello?"

"I caught my wife cheating with the neighbor last night They are both banned from being the banker during monopoly game night now. That will teach them to sleep together."

"A smooth close shave with a brand new razor blade is the best feeling in the world! ... was not the best thing to say to my wife shortly after sex."

"Pluto should totally move on and find a solar system that's going to treat it with the respect it deserves."

"What do you call Jews with HIV? Financial AIDS."

"Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard... Old Mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard to get the dog a bone. But when she bent over, Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own."

"I had sex while camping once It was fucking intentse."

"How do you know if someone's from Texas? Don't worry, they'll tell you."