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Joke of the Day

"Pluto should totally move on and find a solar system that's going to treat it with the respect it deserves."

"How many Mexicans does it take to... ...Oh shit, they're done"

"the first guy to ride a horse was all like GIDDYUP HORSEY and the horse was all like DAMMIT WHO TOLD HIM THAT MAKES US GO"

"Politicians are like diapers... They're almost exclusively white"

"Why US didn't attack India, after twin-tower incident, looking for terrorists ? Because it didn't happen in 7/11"

"Taught my grandmother that ""Jabroni"" means ""fine young man"" and it's made our time out in public way more interesting."

"I just had a breakthrough....!! I should probably pull my finger out and get some stronger toilet paper...."

"I want a girl to go down on me As much as the Pokemon Go servers do"

"Why are Canadians atheist? Because they are Eh-theists."

"Him- All of your fantasies include me, right? *imagines flying on a Pegasus with Thor* H- Are you waving at the ground? Me-Yes to both"