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Joke of the Day
"I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... ...and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust."
Next Joke
"Nothing's sadder than the look on my dog's face when I reach under the kitchen table to pet her and she realizes my hand is empty."
"I tried suing Amtrak for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case."
"Grilled cheeses are the sweatpants of sandwiches."
"[NSFW] What starts with an R and ends with a sentence? Rape"
"The closest I've come to working out in the last month has been a double sneeze. And I hurt my neck."
"Two paedophiles are waiting at a bus stop when an 8 year old girl walks past... One says to the other, ""I bet she was a looker in her day."""
"How do I tell a guy that I'm only interested in him because I'd like to take selfies with his puppy?"
"imagine a reverse pizza. the missing hole on the table where the pizza is meant to be. everything else is pizza. the solar system. the air."
"What do you call a special needs kid who is late for class? ""tardy"""