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Joke of the Day

"Two art theives were going about their business at an art museum. One said to the other, ""Grab the Monet and let's Gogh."""

"Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion? I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed."

"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a child, you're not going to like it as an adult."

"Negative Million Dollar Idea: devote a large portion of your 20s and 30s in pursuit of vague creative oriented career ambitions."

"Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head."

"*flashes smile* *smile calls police*"

"My mum likes mixing drinks But I have no idea why she wanted me to put vodka in cider."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, feminists don't change anything."

"What does Mr. Miyagi do during his alone time? Whacks on, whacks off."

"Why can't women drive? Because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom."