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Joke of the Day
"*flashes smile* *smile calls police*"
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"I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live. So I shot him. Judge gave me 30 years."
"McConaughey: I'll have a venti with cream please Starbucks barista: ok, how do you spell your last name? McConaughey: I don't know"
"Scottish Engineers Q: What is the anthem for Scottish Engineers? A: ""All the Single Laddies"" Edit: Read it carefully"
"Why did Elvis' mom get mad when people called him ""Elvis the pelvis""? Because he had a brother named Enos."
"This orange does not taste right... I think I'm gonna put it back in the crayon box."
"Never eat spoiled meat Or spoiled eggs"
"""Oooo, a window. Let's see if I can fly through it."" - Dumbass birds"
"Why should you never bully a dyslexic dwarf? Because it's not big and it's not clever!"
"I didn't sleep at all last night I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went... and then it dawned on me."