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Joke of the Day

"Two girls sitting quietly together."

"I'm sick of all these passive-aggressive posts. You know who you are."

"My pooch found a great TV show for us to watch Dogter Who"

"What is a cannibal's favorite fruit? Granny Smith"

"You know why Santa has so big balls? He only comes ones a year."

"Mum: ""OMG clean your room! This is MADNESS!"" Me: ""Madness?! NO... THIS IS SPARTA!!"" *Kicks Mum*.."

"What's the hardest part to cook in a vegetable ? The wheelchair"

"what's about 5 inches long and hasn't been inside another man in almost 2 weeks? Cory Monteith's heroin syringe"

"When I say to my kids ""sit here and watch cartoons"" they hear ""come and bug me while I am trying to take naughty pictures for daddy."""

"What did the Jewish lady with Alzheimer's ask her husband? Why doesn't our daughter ever come home for Christmas?"