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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion? I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed."

"My girlfriend calls it selective hearing. I prefer to call it drama filtering."

"Women in England are hos! They've always ready to put some chapstick on their lips."

"The bartender says ""we don't serve your kind here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."

"Why are dogs always SENSITIVE? ------------ Because they have tears in their eyes"

"What is the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Deer nuts are under a buck."

"Two robots walk into a bar... [...and are immediately banned from the establishment.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3sxirv/a_man_walks_into_a_bar_and_orders_a_rum_and_coke/cx1bzxf)"

"So a Jewish pedophile walks up to a kid and says ""Hey want to buy some candy?"""

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank too much tea? He drowned in his teepee. -My Uber Driver"

"Who is this Rorschach guy? And why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?"