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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, feminists don't change anything."

"Why was Homer Simpson in such a rush to get to the Kwik-E-Mart? He desperately needed Apu."

"Last week I had to fire my lawn maintenance workers. They just weren't cutting it."

"These Alt-Right people should Ctrl+Alt-Right+Delete themselves from American society, Am I right?!"

"A Blonde Jokes Two blondes (let's call them Tina and Julie) are talking. Tina: Did you know this New Year is on friday? Julie: OMG, I hope it's not on the 13th."

"*at adoption center* ""Okay yeah they're all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that"""

"How do you fix a broken pizza? Use tomato paste."

"""What's your name?"" ""I am Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi to Drogo's riders-"" *Starbucks barista quits on the spot*"

"I married a Jewish girl... It was the best career move I ever made."

"""Sir, the good news is that your colon looks great. Maybe even the best I've ever seen. The bad news is that I'm just a hobo with a hobby."""