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Joke of the Day

"Negative Million Dollar Idea: devote a large portion of your 20s and 30s in pursuit of vague creative oriented career ambitions."

"Where did the orphans go after the Orphanage blew up? Everywhere"

"Q's are just O's that got shanked."

"I taught my son how to spell beer so he'd stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge."

"An Apple store got robbed last night and $250,000 worth of equipment was stolen. Police are confident they can recover both the stolen machines."

"How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years."

"My wife looked different today then it dawned on me. Her mouth was closed..."

"Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's live in a homeless man's beard."

"Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!"

"How heavy is a dumpling? Wanton"