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Joke of the Day

"LISTEN LADY IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME SITTING ON YOUR BABY YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED ASKING FOR A BABYSITTER"

"Some people say Glenn Frey got pneumonia from the cold... But that can't be true because he said the Heat is On."

"I just invented a new word. Plagiarism"

"My dick is like an anchor... If it extends, I'm not going anywhere until it retracts."

"why don't blinde people go skydiving? because it scares the shit out of their dogs"

"Parallel lines have so much in common.... it's a shame they're never gonna meet."

"What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots??"

"What kind of make up was the girl wearing on Halloween? Mash-scara!"

"I WAS LIKE AND HE WAS LIKE AND I WAS LIKE AND SHE WAS LIKE (The speech impediment of the 21st century)"

"*cop frisking me* Cop: ""theres nothin in your pockets that will poke me, right?"" Uh, no Cop: ""OW!"" *baby porcupine jumps out* RUN POKEY, RUN"