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Joke of the Day

"I was glad to see the back of my ex-girlfriend! She always insisted on having sex doggy-style...."

"What instrument do piggys play in a band? Pigcussion!"

"What do you call a pig with three eyes ? Piiig"

"What do you call stuffing an orifice with chilies? Jalapenetration."

"What happens when you play a country song backwards? It sounds like shit"

"What's the difference between an Onion and a Whore? I don't cry when I chop up a Whore."

"Guys love it when you rest your head on their shoulder at the movie theatre. Their girlfriends however... not so much."

"It used to be that when people would tell me to go to Hell, I'd say ""I don't believe in Hell."" But then I got married."

"*requests Uber* *climbs in backseat* Uber driver: ""Where to?"" Me: ""oh, nowhere. I just don't like to change my diaper in the street."""

"The world's fastest boxer invited anyone to try to avoid his fists... There was no punchline."