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Joke of the Day
"chevy badge on a holdern upvote if you think they're gay"
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"Definition of a best friend He goes out and gets two blow jobs and comes back and gives you one."
"Sex is like pizza. My wife won't let me have it until I lose weight."
"Just saw Star Wars IMAX this weekend. I have to say... It was a solid movie. I give it a perfect score of 5/7."
"Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified. *-Anthony Jeselnik, Shakespeare*"
"Women hate to be stereotyped. .. They're all like that."
"How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb? One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him."
"Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? Because he conditioned it."
"What do you call someone who murders a hundred people with a potato masher? A mash murderer."
"Ghosts are pretty cool because they can literally do anything they want, but they choose to hide my keys."